Wii Commence

Jesse and I are not the only ones in the family who are making a new beginning. My little sister, Katie, graduated from Salve Regina University this weekend. As the Catholics would say, "Thanks be to God. Amen." Technically, she isn't so little anymore, landing her first job and apartment, and leaving me in her shadow at almost 5 feet 7 inches. It's a very exciting time for her and my parents. After nearly 9 years of tuition payments (first me, then Katie) Mom and Dad have written their final check. As the Catholics would also say,"With hearts full of praise, Hosanna in the Highest!"

In case you haven't caught on, Salve Regina is a Catholic University replete with nuns, tradition, and the whole holy shebang. We kicked off the commencement weekend with the Saturday Baccalaureate mass and hooding ceremony. The hooding took about 30 minutes (not bad). Then the Monseigneur tacked on an hour and fifteen minute mass for good measure. We're not Catholic, so I suppose this was our penance for straying from the righteous (or for my cracks about the Popemobile in April). The abridged version of my experience at our 17-page mass: sit, stand, watch others genuflect, sing praises in same monotone tune (5 verses each time), giggling at the thought of singing said praises in my best church-lady voice, stand, sit, check thy blessed watch, and engage in divine eyeball rolling. Amen.

Thank the almighty Lord that I brought snacks, because my head nearly exploded when the Monseigneur invited all 800 people in attendance to take communion. Luckily for me, the holy virgin Queen (Salve Regina) is also the Mother of mercy and love. They set up six communion stations to expedite the process and assured us that Saturday mass counted for Sunday - we didn't have to endure another at the commencement. O Maria!

For graduation, my parents gave Katie a monetary gift to help furnish her new apartment and get settled Newport. She carefully budgeted, made her purchases, and managed to have a little left over for something she'd be wanting for a while - a Nintendo Wii. Katie brought it to our hotel where we embarked on a full-on Wii bowling tournament Saturday night. I was a little rusty at first, but by the end of our playing time I had perfected a wicked spin and upped my score. Wii (hah) played so hard that I woke up on Sunday morning and could barely move my right arm. It was embarrassing. But not as humiliating as when I nearly ate gravel in front of the Breakers following commencement.

More hilarity ensued when I turned around to see the 542 graduates and their families looking on at the tragic scene. At that moment, I secretly hoped Katie would pee in her pants, partially as revenge for laughing hysterically, but also to divert attention from the crowd so I could readjust the blasted pyramidal bumper that I so gracefully knocked askew. In an effort to recover my bruised pride, I challenged her at Wii again that evening - this time bowling leftie. Yeah what? I kicked butt with my non-dominant arm.

And today? I'm still having trouble moving my arms, and my ribs kind of hurt too (I actually feel their presence when I breathe). I also had some trouble getting dressed this morning. The act of putting on a shirt and pulling up my pants was quite painful. I'm not sure which hurt more; the pain in my head from the Baccalaureate mass, my pride from the dramatic walking accident, or the muscle injuries sustained at the Wii graduation tourney. Was it worth it? Heck yeah. At least I don't have any visible scars. And look how fetching Katie is in her cap and gown.

Congratulations, Kay Kay! You rock at life (and Wii).