Weekend in D.C.

Last Thursday morning at 6am, I hauled my suitcase to the MAX station down the street in 13º weather to make my 8am flight to D.C. J had been in Maryland most of the week for a business trip, so we extended the stay through the weekend to meet up with friends and relax a little.

Our good friend, Kyle, defended his dissertation that evening and a bunch of the GW gang got together at a local bar for a celebration. I was happy to discover that Dr. Kyle did not let his new status go to his head, keeping conversations firmly in the gutter. As for the rest of the gang? I was pleased to find that we all just picked up where we last left off with relentlessness harassment, embarrassing story telling, being first-rate busybodies, and laughing until we cried. My ribs actually hurt when rolling over in bed that night. It was such a great evening.

On Friday and Saturday nights we got a sweet deal at the Churchill Hotel in Dupont Circle. Since J stays there often when he travels to D.C., they upgraded us to one of the king suites on the top floor with a view of the city. I swear the hotel room was almost bigger than our last apartment! Since J had to work on Friday in the morning and early afternoon, I went and had lunch at my old office and had a great visit with my coworkers and former boss. In the evening, J's office had its yearly office party and followed it up with a visit to U Street with Kyle, Sally, and Kevin.

Saturday was a little more low key, we slept in and had breakfast at the Florida Avenue Grill with Kurtis and Amanda. I opted for sides of macaroni and cheese and collard greens instead of the standard breakfast fare. The collard greens were mind-blowing. I couldn't finish them because they were so rich, but wow! Outstanding. On Saturday evening, we met up with Dan and Lydia, good friends and J's former co-workers. This visit felt like a true vacation and left me smiling all the way home.

This week is going to be pretty busy. I have a lot of things to accomplish before Christmas rolls around in just 11 days! Yikes!

Things I Will (and Will Not) Miss in D.C. #8: Washington "Celebrities"

This morning on my way to work, I saw Donald Rumsfeld. Just as I was about to round the corner onto Q Street, blowing past an annoying couple who totally blocked the sidewalk, I did a double take. And then, turned around and gawked like a damn tourist. There he was. Just standing on the corner, minding his own business. He's a lot shorter than I imagined and looks really really old.

Fact: When confirmed in 2001, Rummie became the youngest AND oldest Secretary of Defense (serving first under Gerald Ford and then under Dubya). I learned this tidbit from our epic night of Trivial Pursuit. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at my celebrity sighting. This morning's commute was part of the life of a Washingtonian. In my time here I have seen:

Dick Cheney. The Veep usually gets off of work between 5:00-5:15, which means his motorcade passes along Connecticut Avenue just about the same time I walk home from work at 5:30. Yes, he wears that snarl on the way home. I've checked. If you stand right on the edge of the sidewalk and peer into the limousine, you can see him all hunched over in the back seat.

Bob Dole. I saw him one Saturday or Sunday Morning south of Dupont Circle. It was a nice quiet weekend morning and my friend Lauren and I had just finished a delicious brunch with her mom at Luna Cafe. Since there weren't very many cars, it wasn't hard to spot him. He was holding a pen and signaling for his ride.

George Stephanopoulos (had to google that one for spelling). It seems like every guy and his brother has seen him walking around. I think he lives in Georgetown. One evening after work I was walking to M Street for a little retail therapy and he passed right by me on the sidewalk. He is also very short. Probably shorter than me. I was shocked.

James Carville. Before CNN Crossfire was mercifully put to sleep, the studio was in one of George Washington University's campus buildings. That building happened to be just down the street from one of my favorite lunch spots, The Burro. I would frequently see him strolling back to work after a scarfing a giant burrito. Interestingly enough, when I first met our friend Kurtis (who now prefers to be called "War Machine"), he said that I had James Carville eyes. Huh? He then went as far to say that ALL southerners carried this trait, using our friend Stephanie as an example (she's from Arkansas). In a matter of seconds our high cheek bones, which I had considered to be an asset, turned us into Gollum. I later learned that I should only take Kurtis seriously about 25% of the time. Also, his hair-brained theories regarding southern eyes, or abolishing daylight savings time all seem endearing now, rather than totally bizarre and offensive.

Tucker Carlson. He too was seen on campus from time to time, but (thankfully) not as frequently as Mr. Carville. Don't let the bow tie fool you. Evil twits don't eat burritos for lunch, they eat your soul. Try not look into his beady little eyes. The one time I tried to make eye contact, he was too infatuated with his own reflection in the campus building window. I stuck out my tongue at him, but he didn't see. Ah, my reckless youth. I'm much more mature than that now.

Matthew Lesko. He's more of a late-night infomercial celebrity (if that's possible). If you've ever switched on the television after midnight, there's a pretty good chance you've seen him shouting at you from the streets of D.C. about federal grant money that's yours for the taking. I'm almost 100% sure he lives in our neighborhood, and quite possibly in the building across the street. We often see his yellow question mark Mini Cooper and his orange question mark Scion parked on the streets. He also has a pinkish/purple question mark Vespa scooter.

I'm sure there's a whole mess of senators and representatives that pass me on the street everyday, but even after five and a half years in D.C. I'm still not very good at putting faces to names. I seriously doubt that I'll have as many celebrity sightings in Portland, which maybe isn't such a bad thing. Being that they're only Washington-caliber celebrities, they don't carry the weight as say, Brangelina or Spederline. But I'll take what I can get.

FRIED!

Jesse alerted me to this headline on our walk to work this morning. The Examiner is a free commuter paper that is produced (I think) by the Washington Times. The Times should not be confused with the Washington Post, which is an actual newspaper that has a substantial readership and rigorous commentary.

Anyway, the headline this morning pretty much sums up the past 5 days here in Washington. Although, I think "melted" is a better term, given that you're so wet that there's no way you could actually fry in this heat.

Taxation Without Representation Day

Today is tax day. Most of us dread having to fork over our hard earned money to The Man. I think the residents of D.C. feel the pain a little more because we pay our federal taxes, but have no vote. I'm always shocked at how many people don't realize that the D.C. doesn't have voting representatives in Congress.

Yes, we get to vote for the President and elect our local council members, but we only have "Shadow Representatives" in the House and Senate. These shadow positions are LAME-O (to use a technical term) and give the holder a right to speak up, but not vote. Every year, Congress decides our city budget, voices opinions on our local laws, and often use their power to draft sneaky legislation that greatly affects our city.

With so many hands in the pot, and a not-so-sympathetic administration, D.C. has its hands tied. True, the city has made some questionable choices in the officials it elects (Marion Barry over and over and over again). But, one might also argue that Arkansas has some questionable taste, yet they get to have voting members in Congress.

This year with the Popemobile in town, the usual Voting Rights march has been cancelled. Instead voting rights groups are gathering on Capitol Hill to educate the public and hopefully make some impression on Congress members strolling around.

Maybe 2009 will be the year that D.C. gets the vote. We have a Target now. That has to count for something right?

D.C. Taxes

I filed our taxes pretty early this year. They were in on February 4th and our federal refund was back by the 12th. Despite my nervousness about filing as married, the federal return was a breeze and I was finished within an hour (thanks to Turbo Tax). I then moved on to the antiquated D.C. online forms, because they're so Secure! Accurate! and Provide Faster Refunds! Usually this takes about 15 minutes. All you do is answer a few questions, do a bit of simple math, and zoom through to a measly, yet welcome refund.

I started out by entering the same filing status as our federal return (Married filing jointly) and whizzed through the form. Oh crap! We owed almost $1000. Ok, back to the paper. I went through all the steps again and we still owed in the quadruple digits. I knew something had to be wrong, so I started at the beginning. I read the booklet from cover to cover and found that there are multiple ways to file if you are married or in a domestic partnership:

1) Married Filing Jointly (common sense would tell you to pick this category)
2) Married Filing Separately
3) Married Filing Separately on the same Form (huh?)
4) Married Filing on Mars with 18 feline dependents (just kidding)

Apparently you're supposed to figure out your filing status all three ways and choose the one that gives you a better return. What? Is this a joke? You get to choose how much you want to pay? So, I did something that I swore I would never do.... I paid for Turbo Tax State edition. It hurt my newly found frugal soul to shell out $11.95, but in the end it was a tiny fraction of what we saved.

Fast forward to Thursday. We still hadn't received our state tax refund. Given the fact that Washington Post has daily updates on D.C.'s tax fraud scandal, I thought I should call and take some action before the cash flow dried up. I dialed the customer service number to inquire about my long overdue deposit and the lady said, "Honey you OWE $919. You must have looked on the wrong line in the table in the back of the book." Dead silence. She told me the problem areas over the phone for me to verify later. I hung up.

Then it occurred to me, the figure she gave on the phone was exactly the same as when I figured out the form by hand the first time. She would have been correct if I had filed under category 1, but I filed under category 3, Married Filing Separately on the same Form. That meant the back of the booklet didn't apply. Instead, I had to fill out Schedule S, Table J, and sprinkle some fairy dust on my head to get our special tax figure. I called customer service again (thankfully getting another representative) and explained the problem. They admitted it was their mistake. We should expect our whopping $212 return in 7-10 days. Whew. That was close. Rather than dipping into our future house fund we are able to pad it. Yeah, we're high rollers.

Although I'm all riled up about such a mistake on their part, it's a relief to know that I'm not a complete idiot - the tax forms in D.C. really are that complicated.