Online Dating

While reading a chapter of the Wonder Weeks aloud to J the other morning over breakfast, we found out that around this M is really starting to see colors and patterns more clearly. He also is starting to enjoy movement more, such as rustling leaves on the treetops and shiny clothing or jewelry. Before J left for his business trip to D.C. (and before the weather abruptly changed from warm sunny days to cold and rainy) we had been taking afternoon walks with M in his stroller. His eyes would stay wide open, taking in all of the scenery, and then about 10 minutes from home he'd fall asleep and nap. So, I feel that we've done a pretty good job of exposing him to new objects and places. 

It's people that we've left out of the equation. Yes, we've introduced him to many of our friends, but it's been in the comfort of our apartment -- a very familiar setting. He's definitely starting to take interest in people walking by and facial gestures, but J and I were struck by the fact that by 8 weeks, M will start to enjoy watching other children play. It was one of those "oh crap" moments, because we know very few couples with babies. Our friends Anna and Brian are our closest friends with a little one and Elliot is quickly becoming a little boy and is sort of indifferent towards M (I don't blame him...J is much more fun at this point in time). We love our friends here in Portland and have every intention of attending many more happy hours, camping weekends, and birthdays, but it's time to expand our social circle -- we need to start putting ourselves out there to meet more people in our neighborhood with kids. 

So, Operation Find More Friends has commenced. J and I joked that it's like dating all over again. We both managed to avoid doing the online dating game the first time around, but this time I think it's inevitable. Don't worry (moms) we're not posting creepy Craigslist want ads or anything. I'm going through completely respectable channels to pick up other couples with babies. I joined a group of ladies called the Super Strollers who go out walking on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and the weekends. There are only 3 or 4 in the group, but they all live in NW Portland. I haven't actually gone out with them yet, but making contact and setting up dates is the first step right? I'm also going to join a parenting group at the local hospital that meets once a week. With M as my wing man, how could I go wrong? M is already honing his Blackberry skills for all of those phone numbers we're going to rake in.

On My Bookshelf

Lately, my bookshelf has been a revolving collection of baby, parenting, and post-pregnancy books on trial from the library. After reading quite a bit of "professional" advice on eating, sleeping, and routines, I've happily dumped most of them right back in the library return box. The extent to which some of these guides want you to structure your day is exhausting. I just don't have the time or inclination to schedule "alone play time" for my 7-week-old and trying to structure feedings by the clock has proven to make my days more harrowing than restful. Anyway, there have been two books that I actually felt compelled to buy. One about me and one about Miles. 

The first is a book called The Wonder Weeks, which takes a more positive spin on the fussy periods in an infant's development. Instead of seeing Miles as a cranktastic baby that needs to be fixed, it has helped me understand that these trying times are actually quite wonderful because it means he's growing, both mentally and physically. After reading the chapter on the Wonder Week 5, I realized that earlier in the month, Miles wasn't just being a total pain in the butt for no reason. He wasn't napping, he was feeding constantly, and was generally a grumpy little guy -- all indicators that he was making mental leaps and was probably really overwhelmed. The next milestone is Wonder Week 8 in which babies start to understand that they are not one in the same with the world around them. He'll start to recognize that his arms are in fact his and colors and patterns are more clear. The book also provides a really great checklist of some of the things that you might start to see in the week leading up to and following each wonder week. For instance, this week one of the games they suggest is helping him pull up into a sitting and standing position. We tried it and he loves it. In fact, he wants to stand all the time now, which is awesome and a little frustrating because it really tires him out. One thing that we also read is that around this time, babies really enjoy watching rustling leaves and being outdoors, so we decided to take him out for a spin in his Baby Jogger stroller because the weather was so nice. 

Which leads me to my second book, Exercise After Pregnancy. Even though I only have about 3-5 pounds to shed to make it back to my pre-pregnancy weight, my belly is still pretty mushy and jiggly. The other day I pulled out my prenatal pilates DVD, which has a special postnatal workout, and found it nearly impossible to finish the 20 minute session. I don't consider myself to be greatly out of shape, so struggling through the "easy" warm-up exercises was difficult to swallow.  

I learned from the book that it's important to take it slow and focus on getting your abs back into the right place before doing any hardcore strengthening exercises. Apparently, a lot of women's ab muscles split down the middle and are stretched to maximum capacity -- and we all know how big my belly got toward the end! When I checked to see if this was the case with me, I found that I had a good three finger widths between my right and left side. With that in mind, the book focuses on getting back your posture by gently strengthening your core. Also, all of the women pictured in the book are actually moms -- round midsections, love handles and all. For me, exercise is much more tolerable when it's coming from a woman who actually looks 12 weeks postpartum as opposed to Brooke Burke cheerfully bouncing on an exercise ball with unnaturally perky boobs and a 14-inch waist.   

So for now, I'm now working on getting my rectus abdominis pulled in closer and then I can focus more on shortening the muscles to back where they should be. I mean, while my maternity jeans are oh so comfy, I'd really like to be able to put on a normal pair of pants sometime in the near future.