Brasilliant's Unorthodox All-Day Intervals Workout*:
Interval 1: "A" For Effort
Late morning running attempt: 10 min.
Walk home (sweaty and panting for no good reason): 10 min.
Stretch (and ponder defeat from aforementioned run): 10 min.
Interval 2: Guilt Toning Exercises
Lift hand weights (wonder how 5 pounds got to be so heavy): 15 min.
Crunches (abs groan and puff dust): 10 min.
Lie on floor under fan: 10 min.
Interval 3: Take 7-hour Break
Maintain rapid heart rate by engaging with ass-head in class. Continue to build muscle tone by forcefully sitting on hands (in effort not to choke ass-head as he dishes out a healthy serving of senselessness and condescension while chewing gum. Audibly. While. Talking.).
Interval 4: Speed Training
Sprint for one mile and seethe about ass-head from class: 8 min. 45 sec.
Lose dinner in stranger's bushes: 30 sec.
Walk off embarrassment: 5 min.
Interval 5: Cool Down
Pet the cutest dog ever: 2 min.
Contemplate dog-napping (tired legs disagree): 30 sec.
Jog to prevent muscles from turning to stone: 10 min.
Walk to recover from jog (again panting and sweaty): 10 min.
Stretch bewildered muscles (that haven't seen this much activity in a decade): 10 min.
*Brasilliant is not a licensed trainer. She just plays one on the internets.
2 comments:
Oh no...you threw up? Was it the exertion or were you really just that pissed off? I hope someone puts ass-face in his place, that place being out of your life forever.
It was the running. It used to happen all the time in track when I ran the intermediate hurdles. My track coach would joke that if I didn't puke at the end, then I didn't run hard enough.
I'm going to put ass-face in his place today in class. I'm not sure how, but I'll figure it out.
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