Childish Asswipé*

That's pronounced "ass-wee-pay". Not to be confused with a more derogatory word that might get me a Jackass Card (the penalty for being a jerk in our league). Have I mentioned before that Jesse and I are on a kickball team?

I was adamantly opposed to joining, given my horrible experience a couple of years ago in D.C., which involved another team throwing food at us on the street and very angry words (I seriously nearly decked a guy in cropped pants). However, I relented when I realized that it might be a fun way to make friends. Also, Jesse's co-worker (who invited us in the first place) is really nice, so she was bound to have nice colleagues. And she does have really, really great friends. Our league is called Recess Time and we are the Drinking Team with A Kicking Problem. Our name pretty much sums up our skills, but we're in the C group, which means that we're really bad and like to play people who are there to have fun. I'm pretty sure in this photo we were laughing at one of our teammates falling flat on his/her back (no injuries were sustained, except for a total loss of pride).

Up to this point, we have had a great time. Our team has graciously lost every single game, fumbling our way through the field with occasional bursts of genius. However, last night, we encountered a group of particularly heinous kickballers who blew us away (which wasn't the problem) and then insulted our team under their breath as we were giving the obligatory high-five after the game. Come on?! We're all adults. And this is kickball for god's sake! I won't say anymore, because they're just not worth it. I hope they crawl back into their dark holes in Portland and stay there.

Anyway, after our sorry performance in the outfield, a few of us have called an emergency practice session this weekend to brush up on catching and throwing. I know, kickball boot camp in our free time? Whatever, I don't think you realize how bad we really are. Then, we're going to take our anger out on the next team and leave them in the dust -- in a very non-asswipé, fun-loving way.

*Thanks to Lauren's cousin, Steve, for introducing me to my favorite insult/curse word disguised as a foreign language.