Scenes of Destruction

Jesse is working out of the house today, so that means I have the whole apartment to myself. Yesterday, he was pretty busy at work so my efforts to do lots of industrious things were slightly thwarted. I woke up at 8:30am this morning excited to do some major cleaning and things like hanging curtains and finally doing laundry. I was incredibly productive until about 20 minutes ago. I did a major round of dishes, threw in two loads of laundry, and started work on hemming my curtains. Then, Jesse came home for lunch and I nuked my iron.

Let me be clear, this is not the first iron that has been decimated under my watch. I've seen all kinds of crazy iron tricks, like broken face plates, cracked handles, and exploding water vapors. It's merely a fact of life. Hardwood floors kill irons and I'm clumsy (and sometimes bullish with annoying ironing boards). This time though, I was simply moving it slightly to prevent my curtains from getting stuck on our box of artwork. The tragic event happened in slow motion with the teetering iron sent to it's death by the blasted shaky ironing board. As I yelled in slow motion, "Nooooooooooo!" the iron hit the floor in such a way that it severed the cord. Completely. Yes, it also left a black scorch mark. Thank god I didn't blow out the entire apartment circuit. Jesse nearly shot chicken and stuffing out of his nose when he saw my face.

And now, I have a gimpy iron with it's cord swinging in the breeze -- taunting me. After staring at the dead appliance on the floor (muttering choice phrases under my breath), I gulped my iced coffee, took a deep breath, and finished up the curtain hem before the iron had time to go cold. The effort was pretty useless though, because I still have another one to hem. Jesse was full of helpful suggestions like, "don't worry, I'm sure we can replace the cord," and "maybe you could just do it old school and heat it up on the stove." Luckily his lunch hour was nearing an end because I don't think I would have been very nice explaining that you don't replace a cord on a $12 iron.

I think I'll put away the curtains for now and see if I can pick up another iron when I run errands this afternoon. Or, I could just throw the curtains in a pile and leave the curtain rod up there naked to mourn the death of my little Sunbeam iron. I think I like the latter.