Brasilliant's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was a day that made me, as some would say, "lose my shit." It was just your average Monday until I got to work, opened up my weekly planner and saw the number 46 (that's the number of days until my last day of work). Yay. Then I flipped the page to next week, and saw "give notice." Wow, that's painful. Granted, I submitted my first 3 (of 6) chapters of the DC Modernism study to my boss last week. As of today, she still hasn't read through it, which is seriously making me lose my mind. I don't think I can stress enough how inadequate I feel about doing this whole thing, but deep breath. Ok.

Jesse sensed my stress today and suggested that we have lunch on his roof deck at work. It was a lovely hour spent eating our sandwiches, gazing out over the city, and seriously getting the best pep talk I've had in a while. If this whole non-profit research & evaluation thing doesn't work out, motivational speaker/life coach might be a good option for him. I went back to work energized and ready to kick ass. And I did, for about 2 hours.

Then the afternoon slump (around 3:30) reared its ugly head, and in no time, I was ready to jump off my balcony. As tears welled up in my eyes (from anger no less) I sent Jesse an instant message that went something like this : SOS, want to die, why does work hate my guts? I was promptly instructed to take a walk to the drug store to buy earplugs, Reese's pieces, and a coke. It was a nice opportunity for me to feel sorry for myself, cry a little (once on the way, and then once again when I had to buy M&M's instead of Reese's), and pull myself together. I like to think of myself as a practical person, and seriously, this girly flubbery behavior does not fit within the realm of emotions that I am prepared to handle.

About 30 minutes before I was ready to head home, the sky opened and released a torrent of rain, thunder, and lightning. It was raining so hard (in a way that Washington excels in the summer) that it was bouncing back up from the sidewalk under my skirt. In my usual timely manner, I forgot my umbrella and decided to take the bus home with the other 87 bazillion residents of D.C. Long story short, I had to wait for 4 buses to pass by before I actually got home. When I walked in the door, Jesse immediately took my bags, gave me a giant hug, and handed me a plate of leftover vegetable lasagna and a glass of wine. I cried again, partially because of my day, and partially because geez, I certainly did find a keeper.

Two glasses later, I have calmed down enough to reflect on my day. Yeah, it still was one of the worst I've had in a long time, but at least its over. Oh, and we still have enough leftover lasagna for an 8-person family, but it is quite delicious. At least I'm good at that!