Crunch Time

This week I'm feeling the crunch. In just a few days (4 to be exact), I will make a call to a firm in Portland that indicated some interest in my resume last month. It was one of those situations where a friend of a friend knew someone who worked at this place, and somehow my resume landed on the right desk. So here I am, planning every day as though my next phone call or email might be "the one." Its hard living in a way that requires you to be noncommittal to any occasion that is further in the future than 30 days from yesterday.

I've been holding my cards pretty close at work, since we really have no clue when we're actually going to leave. The D.C. Modernism survey (a.k.a. my albatross) is nearing its final stages. The office gets weekly calls from people inquiring when the draft will be released to the public. My shoulders tense up just thinking about it. In a matter of a few months, people will be salivating over the work that I have prepared over the past 3 years. OK, maybe there won't be a stampede, but oh god! The pressure! Professionals will actually use my survey as a future reference - a benchmark for evaluating modern architecture in the post-WWII period. What was I thinking? I certainly can't be qualified to be a benchmark for anything!

Self doubt aside, the strict deadline I have imposed on myself is the most stressful thing of all. As with any project, the last things left to complete are the most grueling tasks. They are the ones that I have been avoiding, all while knowing that someday I would just have to (as Jesse would say) sack up. Well, that day is here and I am hating life. Footnotes, formatting, and little research tasks make my day drag on and on. However, I can't (no, won't) leave D.C. without having finished what I started. At the same time, I feel as though I can't stay in D.C. another minute.

So, in honor of my misery, I declare Thursday "Love My Modern Architecture Day." Tomorrow, I will furiously fill in the gaps between highways and the Metro, solve the time lapse between Gropius and Hartman-Cox, and become an architectural history machine. Wish me luck, but please, only send over the pure and functional vibes. I don't want my mojo muddled with that Postmodernist garbage.